


cooler than me

by SpiilledSundae



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, How Do I Tag, M/M, Protective Bruce Wayne, Quarantine, Sort Of, Tim Drake's Missing Spleen, Tim Drake-centric, Youtuber AU, and not killing each other for once, because, bros being bros, don't let timmy die, im just soft, they have one common interest (sort of)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiilledSundae/pseuds/SpiilledSundae
Summary: Tim video blogs [vlogs] his time in quarantine as an immunosuppressed -high school dropout- CEO.
Relationships: Probably More - Relationship, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, idk, we'll see - Relationship
Comments: 25
Kudos: 479





	1. prologue.

Tim was bored. 

He had a laptop, but no work to do on it (Alfred made sure he didn’t overwork himself). He had an extensive collection of cameras, but nothing to photograph (he wasn’t allowed outside). His friends couldn’t even visit, what with the viral outbreak and his missing spleen, and he was _bored_. 

He laid upside-down on his bed, looking around his old room. He had to move back into the manor after the virus reached Gotham because Bruce shoved him into his car and drove off. He said it was for ‘safeguarding’ and ‘making sure he doesn’t run off to work 23 hours a day’, but Tim called bull – it was obvious that Bruce was still a child hoarder and used any excuse to bring them together. 

So, because of his fathers’ strange addiction, he was stuck in a room that had been decorated by an obnoxious preteen. Posters of Batman and Robin were stuck up above his bed, a Robin figurine on his bedside table, next to an alarm clock and a Minecraft Steve figure. His old skateboard collection was still in the corner he left it in, some decorated with Pokémon cards and others with Yu-Gi-Oh! ones. 

He was such a nerd. 

He rolled over, looking under the bed. There were stacks of CD’s scattered about, most being pop songs, along with some small indie artists. Oh God, this was getting more and more embarrassing, and he was so grateful that Alfred didn’t go through his things. 

Sighing, he sat up.

He was alone for most of the day, and all he had was his cameras, laptop and the massive building he called home. What could he even do? And then it hit him like a bag of bricks: he was going to do the stupidest thing imaginable. 

~~And Bruce was going to sue him.~~


	2. one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Day one of quarantine and I can’t even bake a cake.”

Tim had his setup ready: his camera was balanced in front of him, and he was sitting cross-legged on his bed. He didn’t know what to put as his channel name, so he just put ‘Tim’, and set his icon to picture of him and Kon. Kon had taken a few months ago before this entire thing started, and it was their last photo together. His banner was a photo of Gotham’s skyline, and all (well, most) of his socials were linked. 

He pressed the start button. 

* * *

The screen played an animated introduction, before fading into the first shot. It was Tim sitting cross-legged on his bed, with a cat in his arms. In the corner, the date was displayed next to ‘DAY ONE’. 

“Uh- hello everyone,” he gave a wave, “I’m Tim, Tim Drake-Wayne, and uh- I guess if you live in Gotham, you’d have heard of me, but I’m just a high school dropout. 

“This,” he lifted the cat up, “is my brother’s cat, Alfred. Today I was going to head out and do some work at the office, but I’ve been isolated because I’m immunosuppressed. That means that my immune system isn’t as strong as it should be, so I have to stay home. 

“I was really bored, so I thought I might as well do something I haven’t done before – I’m going to make a cake!” 

* * *

The camera cuts to Tim in another room, ‘Alfred’s Kitchen’ in the corner. He had his hair tied up in a bun and was wearing a pink apron. Alfred the cat is gone, but there’s a dog in the corner, watching over Tim. 

“This isn’t my kitchen, it’s Alfred’s – our grandpa, not our cat – and if I ruin it, I might get kicked out. Ace is here,” he gestured to the dog, “because he knows I’m going to burn something. 

“I’m going to follow this recipe book, and if it turns out bad, I’ll give it to Damian.” 

He read the ingredients off of the list out loud, moving around the kitchen to retrieve each item. 

“It says that I need to preheat the oven,” he looked up at the camera, “I don’t know where the oven even is–” The camera cuts quickly, and the next shot was of Tim with large oven gloves on. “So, I wasn’t told that I’d need gloves, but I have them now, so it’s okay. 

“Oh! And the oven is behind me, there.” He turns around and walks towards it, “I’m preheating it to 360° Fahrenheit, or 180° Celsius, and then I’m going to try and fixing a camera above me so you can see me mix everything.” 

The next shot is from above him, showing all the ingredients he had gathered. The video was sped up, and Tim voiced over it. 

“So, you can see the first mistake I made there,” the video pauses and zooms in onto the bag of sugar Tim is measuring out, “that’s not castor sugar. I mean, it doesn’t matter that much, but from here it’s just a downward spiral.” 

The video plays on for a bit, before Tim interrupts again, “My second mistake was putting a tablespoon of baking soda instead of a teaspoon, and my dumbass put two of those in there – like woah, stop right there Timothy, where did your common sense go? 

“And to top everything off, you can see me using salt in the icing. Icing needs icing sugar. I want to cry. This cake is going either to Damian or in the bin.” He pauses, “I might have to throw it away because it’s poisonous.” The voice-over ends there, and the video returns to normal speed. 

Tim put his cake in the oven and picked up the camera, “Right, guys, I think that went well. I’m going to leave that in there for twenty minutes while I clean up, and I’ll see you with the final product.” 

* * *

A bloated cake sat on the table, with Tim standing to the right of it. 

“And this is why I don’t cook. It’s a little burnt, but aren’t we all?” He proded at it, “I think if I eat this, the corona’s going to be running away at Mach 3. I’m going to throw it away, but first I’m going to send a photo onto the group chat.” 

He steps to the side, his phone in his hand, and takes a photo. He presses send and shows the camera his screen. “I don’t know if you can see that, but Dick’s already replied.” 

A screenshot was shown on the screen of the conversation, with Dicks response being ‘nice try timmy, i'm sure you did your best 😊' 

“It sounds as if he’s mocking me, but that’s just how he usually speaks – Oh! Bruce says ‘why are you out of bed?’ Uh – well, oops? I’ll ignore that for now.

"Anyway – Jason says ‘you’re a disgrace to all bakers’ and Damian says ‘why are you allowed near an oven?’ 

“All in all, I think they had a fairly positive response.” 

* * *

The next scene was of Tim surrounded by people, his family. They’re in the living room, with Tim sitting on the sofa, Dick and Damian next to him. Bruce is sitting on a loveseat to the side, with Jason leaning on it behind him. 

“Alright guys, so I’ve been banned from the kitchen until further notice. Alfred made a grave for my cake. In the bin. But apart from that, I think everything went well!” 

“It did not!” Damian was scowling at him, “Even with your-” 

The video ends there, with an end card saying: “Day one of quarantine and I can’t even bake a cake.” 

* * *

Tim knew the video was a mess, but he didn’t think it would get any traction. It turns out, he was wrong. _Oh, so very wrong._

With 11 million views in 10 hours, he had gone viral. 

At least he was right about one thing, though. Bruce did want to sue him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blooper: 
> 
> “At the moment, I’ve been self-isolated because I’m missing my spleen- wait, no, can I say that? Oh well, I’ll just edit it out later-” 
> 
> \--
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading this. I've got a lot of spare time on my hands after schools were shut in England, so I might be posting often. I don't really know yet, though lol.
> 
> Remember to stay safe guys.


End file.
